Only part of a successful communication involves the words we speak, far more is conveyed by how we speak including the tone of our voice, intonations and pauses. Yet our non-verbal communication or body language can express even more. This can be as much as 50% of the impact of our message. Experienced and successful sales people appreciate the need to take into account body language just as much as they would say product knowledge.
Unconscious gestures
Our body is more likely to express our attitudes and feelings although rather interestingly most people are unaware that they are sending out these types of signals, neither do they know how to read them. If you know what to look out for you’ll be able to interpret peoples meanings more accurately, than simply by listening to their speech. Your communication skills will be enhanced, you’ll be able to understand the unconscious gestures that others make. You will have a better grasp of the real message being transmitted.
Itchy nose or lying?
One word of warning: Most gestures suggest or indicate a particular feeling or mood. However, you should refrain from reading too much into isolated mannerisms etc, as this can be misleading. Better to see individual expressions in context, as part of a pattern or a cluster. You should also note that there are always several explanations for a particular gesture. For example, many people think that someone scratching their nose when answering a question is probably lying, of course they might just have an itchy nose.
Same for both sexes?
Again rather interestingly there does seem to be some differences in women and men’s ability to pick up on non-verbal clues. Women seem to be more sensitive to body language and would appear to be superior to men in perceiving implications from conversations. Look out guys they know what you’re thinking.
Watch and learn
Body language is a way to “observe” what others are thinking through their facial expressions, their eyes and their posture. But recognising the other person’s body language is only half the story for you should ensure your own posture encourages communication. Try to recognise the prospects actual interest level in what you are offering and adapt your approach accordingly. Remember individual gestures can be insignificant, but together they are a strong communication signal to the alert professional. Moreover, be particularly aware of changes of posture etc, they will serve to indicate that the prospect’s attitude is changing too.
Walk tall
How people hold and carry themselves can provide clues about their personality and mood. An upright posture with eyes looking straight ahead is associated with confidence and health. On the other hand drooping shoulders and neck suggest dejection, shyness, possibly even illness. Walk tall and look people in the eye for you will be perceived as confident and trustworthy and we all know that buyers are more likely to do business with you if they perceive you as both honest and confident.
Facing up to things
The way a person feels can be indicated by how they point their body. People face towards things they want, things they are interested in and towards other people that they sympathise with. Equally if someone turns away from you to another individual or towards the door it probably suggests they want to go. They have lost or are losing their interest in conversing with you.
Look them in the eyes
Eyes are probably the most expressive part of the face. Unlike a smile that maybe forced it’s generally thought that you can’t fake the effects of various emotions on the eyes. When you encounter something that you like, your pupils will dilate becoming larger. On the other hand when you feel negative about something your pupils will contract. The pupils are of course quite small, however they can vary in size quite significantly and the differences can be detected by the observant. Think about it have you never seen someone’s eyes “light up” when they come across something they like.
Open or closed
When someone folds their arms they are perceived as making a protective gesture, they might feel threatened, defensive or sceptical. In addition if the hands are griping the upper arms or the fists are clenched then the negative attitude is being reinforced. Keeping their arms unfolded signal a feeling of confidence and indicate they don’t feel threatened. The most important point to grasp here is to make sure that you don’t adopt a crossed arms posture in front of clients, because “it’s comfortable” when they may well see you as not interested in them.
Hand gestures
Hand movements can be equally informative, for example the rubbing of hands together can be an indication that the person has positive expectations. Brisk rubbing suggests an open attitude to what is being said, whereas the slow rubbing of hands can mean that the individual expects to be the recipient of good news. Hands behind the head portray a superior, confident attitude, whereas a hand over ones mouth when talking indicates uncertainty. Perhaps quite obviously a hand touching a watchstrap could suggest that the individual is concerned about time.
Scratching ones nose whilst talking, as said earlier is generally thought to indicate the individual is exaggerating or even lying. On the other hand raising a finger to the corner of the eye suggests a lack of understanding.
Getting a grip
When it comes to handshakes a strong grip can suggest confidence, make it too strong and painful and you are suggesting that you would like to dominate the other person. A soft, limp handshake can portray apathy and or that the person feels weaker and subservient. If someone reinforces their handshake by gripping your arm with their free hand they’re probably trying to indicate sincerity. Be warned you are likely to alienate people by doing this with those that are familiar with this trick.
Give them space
We all have an area around us that we see as our personal space, psychologists often describe this space as consisting of four zones. Intimate space, personal space, social space and public space and these may in part be self-explanatory. Interestingly we change the size of our “personal space” depending on our circumstances. For example we accept total strangers getting very close to us when we are crowded together on public transport or when we are in a crowd at a sporting occasion. However we wouldn’t feel at all comfortable if a stranger came up close to us when there was no one else around. On the other hand we perceive others as being “stand-offish” if they position themselves too far away. You can therefore often judge how another person feels about you from how close they place themselves in relation to you.
A prospects home or office is their territory, but where you and they are positioned affects communication. If you are to present to more than one person, for example, partners, try to position yourself so you can address both at once and look both of them in the eye virtually simultaneously.
If you sit directly opposite someone then the “head to head” position could create an atmosphere of confrontation. Whereas, sitting side by side might be informal but it can be intimidating if uninvited. Sitting just to the side is preferable. Where the prospect is behind a desk you can casually re position your chair slightly to one side as you go to sit down. The prospect can be relaxed, and therefore not feel pressured, but at the same time the meeting is kept reasonably formal and business like.
Mirroring
Mirroring is when you adopt a similar body language to another person. Not copying every precise movement and gesture, rather following the principle body movements. Sitting forward when they do and sitting back when they choose to, etc. When you mirror you are indicating that you share the other person’s feelings and that you have the same attitudes. By doing this you are likely to win their confidence and as people relate to those that they perceive as similar to themselves, they are more likely to do business with you. Keep it subtle, don’t get over self conscious and you may be surprised how often you do this naturally anyway.
Non verbal communication as you can now see needn’t be a minefield, check you are sending out the right signals and don’t over react if the prospects body language isn’t ideal. Take the hint and raise your game on those occasions the buyer isn’t yet buying.
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